John McCain Launches 'Palin Truth Squad' To Dispose of the Truth About Sarah Palin

ARLINGTON, VA -- With today's report that Democrats have "airdropped a mini-army of 30 lawyers, investigators and opposition researchers into Anchorage" to find all the skeletons in Sarah Palin's closet before they come to life and overrun Alaska, the McCain-Palin campaign has launched the Palin Truth Squad to keep America safe from the truth about Governor Sarah Palin, her family, her cronies, and her inexperience. Following the general strategy of the McCain campaign, the Palin Truth Squad will ensure that the truth about Sarah Palin is kept as far from American voters as possible.

"We're nervous about Sarah Palin's record of taking on library books, her ex-brother-in-law, and the atmosphere," said former Governor Jane Swift. "Sarah Palin's commitment to pork is becoming well-known, so we seek to distort the truth about it. We will not allow the left and the media to criticize the only mayor in Alaska who made rape victims pay for their own forensic exams. We know the truth and are committed to making sure that it doesn't cloud the mind of a single American voter."

In the event that the media tells the truth about Sarah Palin, the Palin Truth Squad will either distort the truth or make such absurd attacks on Barack Obama that nobody will be able to remember what they were thinking about before. Additionally, the Truth Squad will be available to spin the media so hard that reporters will become dizzy and vomit.

National Members Of The Palin Truth Squad:

Former Governor Jane Swift (R-MA)
Governor Linda Lingle (R-HI)
Lt. Governor Sean Parnell, (R-AK)
Congresswoman Michele Bachmann (R-MN)
Congressman Marsha Blackburn (R-TN)
Congresswoman Shelley Moore Capito (R-WV)
Congresswoman Thelma Drake (R-VA)
Congresswoman Mary Fallin (R-OK)
Congresswoman Virginia Foxx (R-NC)
Congresswoman Kay Granger (R-TX)
Congresswoman Cathy McMorris Rodgers (R-WA)
Congresswoman Candice Miller (R-MI)
Congresswoman Sue Myrick (R-FL)
Congresswoman Ileana Ros-Lehtinen (R-FL)
Congresswoman Heather Wilson (R-NM)
Jo Ann Davidson, RNC Co-Chair
Rosario Marin, Former U.S. Treasurer
Meg Stapleton, Former Aide To Governor Palin
Kristan Cole, Lifelong Friend Of Governor Palin

State Members Of The Palin Truth Squad:

Former Lt. Governor Jane Norton (CO)
State Representative Amy Stephens (CO)
State Board of Education Member Peggy Littleton (CO)
State Representative Ellyn Bogdanoff (FL)
County Commissioner Mildred Fernandez (FL)
Former Iowa Senate President And Former U.S. Ambassador To The Eastern Caribbean, Mary Kramer (IA)
State Representative Jackie Walorski (IN)
State Representative Laura Brod (MN)
Former GOP State Party Chairwoman And Former State Rep. Barb Sykora (MN)
Jayne Millerick, Former NH GOP Chair (NH)
State Senator Jennifer Beck, Honorary Co-Chair NJ Women For McCain-Palin (NJ)
Assemblywoman Alison Littell McHose, Honorary Vice Chair NJ Women For McCain-Palin (NJ)
Bergen County Clerk Kathe Donovan, Honorary Co-Chair NJ Women For McCain-Palin (NJ)
DA Dona Ana County Susana Martinez (NM)
Former Lt. Gov. Lorraine Bono-Hunt (NV)
State Senator Barbara Cegavske (NV)
State Assemblywoman Heidi Gansert (NV)
Sue Lowden, Nevada GOP Chair (NV)
Kay Ayres, OH GOP Vice Chair (OH)
Betty Montgomery, Ohio Women For McCain-Palin Chair (OH)
Mary Taylor, Ohio Auditor Of State (OH)
Margie Hughes, Clackamas County Chair Of Women For McCain-Palin (OR)
Linda Neace, West Linn Small Business Owner For McCain-Palin (OR)
Deanna Smith, Women For McCain-Palin Chairwoman (OR)
Renee Amoore, PA GOP Deputy Chair (PA)
Joyce Haas, PA GOP Vice Chair (PA)
State Senator Lisa Baker (PA)
Diana Irey, Washington County Commissioner (PA)
Christine Toretti, RNC National Committeewoman and McCain-Palin Pennsylvania Co-Chair (PA)
Kim Ward, Westmoreland County Commissioner and McCain-Palin Pennsylvania Regional Chair (PA)
Former First Lady Susan Allen (VA)
Lori Ann Miller, Young Republican Federation Of VA Chairman (VA)
Former Lt. Gov. Margaret Farrow (WI)
Peggy Oban Boze, McCain-Palin Chairwomen For King County (WA)
Susan McCaw, Former Ambassador To Austria (WA)
Della Newman, Former Ambassador To New Zealand (WA)

September 9, 2008